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Don't SNIA at my storage specs: Standards body dons goggles, takes the plunge

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Unleashes Xiphias gladius – Swordfish to you and me The SNIA has unveiled its v1.0 Swordfish storage management specification to standardise management of storage products and services in cloud-era data centres.…

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Apple wants to buy Formula 1 car firm McLaren – report

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Project Titan + F1 supercar brains + ??? = profit Apple, the reassuringly expensive maker of iThings, is reportedly trying to convince Formula One racing car firm McLaren's execs to fall into line with a buyout, according to reports.…

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Financial Conduct Authority: No need to look any closer at insurers’ use of Big Data

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

We asked them and they said it's all good, so we're happy The Financial Conduct Authority has said there’s no need to launch a full market study into insurers’ use of big data, despite concerns that insurers' could be using to charge consumers more.…

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Asian hornets are HERE... those honey bee murdering BASTARDS

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Flying death spotted in the Cotswolds, boffins move in for the kill A sleepy Cotswold town could be about to witness the genocide of local honey bees following the discovery of invasive predatory giant Asian hornets.…

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Lenovo denies claims it plotted with Microsoft to block Linux installs

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

It's a bug, not a feature – Linux distro vendors are responsible Lenovo has denied deploying BIOS "hacks" to lock Windows 10 installations to its signature edition PCs.…

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Dell stages SAP HANA love-in, squeezes out engineered system

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

World, meet the Dell EMC Validated System Dell is all about engineered systems, or so its CEO Mickey D said recently, but actions speak louder than words and today the Texan infrastructure baron rolled out a box targeting firms running SAP HANA.…

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CA blows on fingers, grasps testing vendor BlazeMeter

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

From mainframe to DevOps in just 40 years... Veteran software outfit CA has hoovered up Israeli testing outfit BlazeMeter to burnish its DevOps and testing credentials.…

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HPE sells off 'non-core' software assets

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

HPE asset disposals exercise - to possibly prep for an acquisition? Comment  On the day the Dell/EMC acquisition/merger completed, HPE announced it was selling off a load of non-core software assets in a “spin-off” merger with UK’s Micro Focus.…

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Samsung intros super-speedy consumer SSDs, 'fastest M.2s ever'

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Flashy NVMe pair up to 1TB – for now.... Samsung has introduced 960 EVO and 960 PRO M.2-format consumer SSDs with an NVMe interface and a promised 2TB capacity.…

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OpenIO wants to turn your spinning rust into object storage nodes

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Seagate's Kinetic drives get a new twist on ye olde JBOD Frog object storage startup OpenIO is banging on with supporting Seagate’s Kinetic disk drives, and has certified its software on the drives in a Kinetic Plugfest.…

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She cannae take it, Captain Kirk! USS Zumwalt breaks down

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Water got into where water should not have been Weird new warship USS Zumwalt has broken down while on sea trials, three weeks ahead of her formal commissioning ceremony.…

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Microsoft cuts ribbon on Euro cloud bit barn for Office 365, Azure

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Now only local spy agencies can slurp your data. Hurrah! Microsoft has started to serve up Azure services from a new cloud region in Germany – operated under the supervision of a data trustee – to pitch for European punters with concerns about secur…

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Lethal 4-hour-erection-causing spiders spill out of bunch of ASDA bananas

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Man flees with family Yet another British family has been forced to flee its habitat after an infestation of Brazilian wandering spiders smuggled itself into their nest on the back of a bunch of supermarket bananas.…

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Magneto-resistant upstart Everspin gets itself into an IPO whizz

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Non-volatile RAMmer enters the most volatile situation of all MRAM startup Everspin has filed for an IPO.…

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What says Internet of Things better than a Bluetooth-controlled smart candle?

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

We're not making this up, it's a real product Someone with far more time and money than sense has developed a “real flame smart candle” that can be controlled over Bluetooth. No, really.…

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Man accused of $180k ass-based gold smuggling scam awaits verdict

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

RCMP conduct internal investigation to see if it could be done A Canadian man accused of smuggling $180,000 of gold out of the Royal mint – allegedly in his anal cavity – is awaiting a court verdict after his defence condemned the government’s case …

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Hewlett Packard Enterprise bigwig chuckles at talk of buyout talks

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Trimmed down biz 'possible' target for Dell, Cisco, Lenovo, Huawei and private equity The number two at Hewlett Packard Enterprise has brushed off talk the slimmed-down organisation could be vulnerable to a takeover, as the company is again linked w…

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Speaking in Tech: Public cloud 'explodes'. Oh yeah? Show your sources

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Plus: My public radio name is Bianca Hughes-Pavlov

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We live in a world where a 'Hamdog' burger hybrid is patented

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

A meat and two meats Rejoice! The eternal dilemma of whether to have a hot dog or a burger has now been answered.…

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A Clarity cloud gathers around K2. Yes, literally

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Kaminario is adding cloudy analytics to all flash array Unlike real clouds which hide things, Kaminario is adding a Clarity analytics cloud to its K2 all-flash arrays.…

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Are you sure you want to outsource IT? Yes/No. Check this box to accept Ts&Cs

woensdag 21 september 2016 inThe Register Headlines (Tech News)

Er, and you might wish to READ them too Migrating to an outsourced IT service including cloud is a great opportunity to outsource responsibility for IT and employees while simultaneously increasing efficiency and decreasing cost. At least, that’s th…

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